Something to Ponder....

To work, or not to work?

I already know the answer to that question. 

Before Coral was born, before she was even thought of, I knew that I wanted to be a stay at home mom once I started having children. Some people grow up, dreaming of their careers, I grew up with the dream of having babies, lots of babies (breathe Andrew), and staying at home with them. I didn't want the career (and no, despite what some people may think, that doesn't make me lazy and it definitely doesn't mean Im not smart enough to have a career), I just wanted a family.

I grew up in a home where my mom was around, every single day, all day for me and my siblings. She was there to wipe my tears away when I got hurt when I was little, she was there to wipe my tears away when I got emotionally hurt when I was older. She was my constant, and I knew I could always count on her being around when I needed her.  But her staying home with us meant sacrifices. I only wore hand-me-downs,  our christmas tree wasn't loaded with presents underneath, we didn't go places like Disney Land, or Hawaii. Would I have traded anything from my childhood? Nope. Not a single thing. I would make all those sacrifices again to have my mom stay at home with us. 

Working at Kids Camp a couple of weeks ago only solidified my decision to be a stay at home mom. My days went like this : wake up, get coral out of bed, rush to get myself and her ready (i'll be honest, most days she left the house still in her pjs, without having had breakfast). Leave the house at 7: 20 to drop Coral off. Switch her car seat over to grandmas car. Continue driving to the church. Kids camp all day. Leave the church anywhere between 5-5:30. Pick Coral up, switching back the car seat. Drive home in traffic, making it home around 6:30. 

Corals bedtime is 6:30. Yes I know that sounds insanely early, but most days, by 6:00, she is a noodle on the ground, so she goes to bed. She sleeps right through the night until about 7. Yup that means I have my whole evening off. But enough about that, my point is, I would just get home, and would have to take Coral straight up to bed. I hardly saw Coral that week, and by about mid-week, I was going crazy. The fact that I had a child, but didn't get to spend time with her, drove me nuts. The fact that shes MINE...my daughter, MY responsibility, and someone else was looking after her, felt completely wrong.  Yes, putting her to sleep when she just finally got home, was hard, but I did it. From what I have read, a typical working mom, not yet having spent time with their child, would have kept the child up, resulting in the child being over tired, and the already tired parent getting frustrated at the child for being difficult. I understand why they would risk it though, I would have given just about anything to see Coral more that week. 

 One thing I did notice though, when I was "working", my house stayed a lot more clean (minus the kitchen, which when Im at home, gets cleaned multiple times a day). My little tornado wasn't around to re-arrange things on me, and make a mess everywhere. 

Being a stay at home mom was a decision I made, and its what works best for our family. When I was pregnant with Coral, I got asked all the time what kind of job I will get once Coral is a year old, and I should be working again.  My usual response was something like this "ooh I don't know, I haven't really decided yet." I confess right now to lying. I knew exactly what I would be doing. I would be at home, raising my child. Truth is, I always felt judged for that. I felt like people were looking down on me. Isn't it funny that 50 years ago, no one would have even asked a pregnant lady that. It would have been assumed that she would be at home, taking care of her family. Now people assume the opposite, that you will leave your child in the care of someone else, and you will work. 

Being a stay at home mom IS work. That week at kids camp was a real eye opener for me. While I was exhausted from "working", I found that I am equally exhausted when Im at home, chasing my toddler, keeping up with the house work that she creates. It also means lots of sacrifices for Andrew and I. We have a strict budget when it comes to our money as we only have one income. Thats ok though. 

I don't want to offend anyone by writing this post. Some people just really are career people, and they would rather be at work then with their children all day. My mother-in-law LOVED her teaching job. She was a career women, but she was also an amazing mother to her two boys. Some people would really love to be a stay at home mom, but they truly cannot afford it. I always say to each his own, its your choice. Im just telling you about my decision to stay at home with my kids, and why Andrew and I back up that decision. 

I love being at home with Coral. Yes there are some days when I would rather drop her off at a day care and let them deal with her (like when shes teething...gah). I love that I have become Corals constant. Someone who she can always count on, and that she knows is always going to be around for her. I love that we have created a sense of home for her. There is no other place where Coral is happier, then when she is in her own home, with her mommy and daddy playing with her. Our house is not just another house to her, its her home.

I love that I am the one raising her, fully.

That she will need to follow MY rules, and not other peoples rules that have been given to her. 

I love that I get to witness every new thing about her, from her first steps, new words, new discoveries. 

I love that I will be the one potty training her, teaching her to tie her shoes, etc.

So, if you chose to be a working mom, thats great for you. Just remember that us stay at home moms are working hard too. Remember that being a stay at home mom IS a full time job as well. And remember that the sacrifices you will make to be at home with your child, is well worth it.